The key to a child's successful education is parents and teachers working together.  This is critical for a student who is having difficulty behaving in an acceptable way at school.  From the school's perspective a parent can be a teacher's greatest ally or worst enemy.  From the parent's point of view the staff can act in a way that is unfeeling and inflexible.  The cornerstone for building a relationship that is focused on the success of the child is trust.  The cement that binds this relationship is communication.

Spencer and Gary have worked with scores of families and their experiences have shown them that virtually all parents love their kids and want them to be successful.  Even parents facing tremendous difficulties and personal issues care about their children and want them to do well in school.  It is this theme of love and caring that can help teachers to build bridges to resistant parents.  Trust is fostered by teachers showing genuine concern for their students and communicating that caring and interest to the child's caregivers.

Effective communication is a skill that staff members can use to speak to parents about their child's academic progress and behavior issues.  The language that a teacher uses when speaking with a parent is key to creating an atmosphere that is positive and solution-focused.  It is important for a teacher to try to see the situation from the parent's point of view.  In other words, how would you feel if you were the parent and you had to listen to what the teacher was saying about your child.  Taking the other person's perspective will help guide a staff member towards using positive words that are generating solutions.

It is essential that school staff members remember that parenting is a tough job with little training and few resources.  The importance of identifying positive things about a student and focusing on specific, concrete and attainable improvements will empower parents to do a more effective job.  An example of a positive affirmation that can be used with a high risk student's parents is "You were really effective with your son when you worked together with us today.  It was really powerful when you gave him the clear message to stop using violence and to have him talk out his problems peacefully."  Keep in mind that parents need positive strokes just like any other worker and have very few places to receive them.

Gary and Spencer have a lot of experience working with resistant parents and helping them develop strategies so that their child can be successful at school.